Whenever I'm faced with a difficult decision, I ask myself: What wouldI do if I weren't afraid of making a mistake, feeling rejected, looking foolish or being alone? I know for sure that when you remove the fear, the answer you've been searching for comes into focus. And as you walk into what you fear, you should know for sure that your deepest struggle can, if you're willing and open, produce your greatest strength.
Today, I stumbled upon a screenshot I took from a passage in Oprah’s book, This I Know For Sure, and wanted to share it with you.
I recently stepped out on a leap of faith and made a really big decision. One that I didn’t know I had the courage to do. We surprise ourselves like that sometimes. But often times over-thinking, second-guessing and doubting ourselves follow said actions.
But why do we question ourselves? At the time, our heart [and deep down in our gut] knew that the decision was 100% what we wanted and needed. If we are true to ourselves and really in tune with what we deserve, then why do analyze what our heart, higher power and the universe is trying to tell us?
Because of fear. Fear of maybe we’re wrong. Fear of maybe that it’s actually ourselves that are the problem. Fear that we haven’t tried enough things to make it right. Fear of being alone. Fear of judgement. Fear of losing the only thing we know. Fear of change. Fear of letting go. Fear of a new lifestyle. Fear of finding out who our friends are and aren’t. Fear of being hurt. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of losing control. Fear of not feeling wanted anymore. Fear of backlash. Fear of….anything.
Oprah’s right. What if we stripped away our ultimate fears. What if our fears weren’t even a possibility?
We’d be able to see ourselves more clear, live more confidently and own our lives fully. We’d stand up for ourselves, what we believe in and what we deserve the first time around without hesitation. We’d be our own bosses driving our own show without input from anyone or any fear. We’d make the decision and own it, period.
–> If you have to make a difficult decision, first, eliminate “what could happen” aka what you fear the most, and see what your heart tells you then. Don’t ignore the message because I’ll promise you this: it will come back to haunt you time and time again, in different forms each time.
–> After you eliminate the possibility of your worst fears, really look inside and listen. I bet, you will see yourself and the situation at hand with a lot more clarity.
–> And then TRUST. Trust your heart. Trust that this situation or decision has presented itself to you for a reason and that your response to it will not kick you down but catapult you forward.
The ego will most definitely insert itself into this process. You will feel resistance inside. This will come in the form of questioning, sadness, regret, over thinking, anxiety, fatigue, lack of confidence, you name it. An inner voice [not our true voice], also known as our ego, tends to feed on the negative, the insecurities, the gloom. When it feels as though you are finally taking the reins of your life, the ego will start to lose power. Fight the ego's negative influence and remain strong. Again, TRUST in yourself, your higher power and the larger plan at work.
Like Oprah said, if you are willing to change your perspective and open your heart to this struggle that has been set before you, you will, in time, uncover the purpose of the pain in addition to your true strength.
Life can throw you curve-balls and they have the ability to cripple you. But what you have to know is that no struggle is ever just a struggle. It’s always paired with an opportunity that’s right around the corner. If you stay strong, keep the right attitude, remain in faith, concentrate on you, and trust, it will surprise you when you least expect it.