Stop Searching For Your "Purpose" & Do This Instead

These days, if we're miserable with our current circumstances, gurus tell us to "find our passion" and we'll never work a day in our lives. So, we set out to discover what that is. We list out our talents, discuss the pros and cons of each opportunity, waste money on classes and certifications and compare ourselves to others on social media wondering how in the heck they live with such purpose and ease.

It's exhausting and can make us feel downright worthless—like we have nothing to offer the world and will forever be lost and unhappy.

Let me tell you, I've been actively searching for YEARS and had gotten to the state above more than I can count on one hand. I'm sure you have to some degree, too. 

BUT. What if I told you we've been going at it ALL WRONG.

What if I said that finding what's meant for you isn't a scavenger hunt. It's not a person, place or thing that you can "uncover," but a FEELING.

Forget passion. What you need to paying attention to is ENERGY. If the thing you are contemplating energizes you, naturally expands you, excites you, allows you to see possibility and makes you come alive ... that's how you know it's right for you. Despite any fear or uncertainty you feel.

So, instead of spending energy trying to figure out your passion, ask yourself this: what can I do today that energizes me?

There's a difference between being outside your comfort zone vs. pursuing something that's not meant for you. To help decipher between the two, Marie Forleo gives two strategies to help. 

STRATEGY 1:

When you think about doing the thing you’ve been talking about, do you feel epxansive or contracted?
 
[Well, what the hell does that mean, Carrie?]

Okay loves ...
When you feel EXPANSIVE, your shoulders will open up, you'll get a boost of energy and feel excited. Even if there's fear present, you’ll still feel like: "OMG I'd love to do that!" There’s a sense of forward motion.
 
When you feel CONTRACTED, you will pull in and likely dread the thing you're thinking of doing. It will feel like WORK—hard, energy-sucking work. Kind of like pulling teeth.

If you're feeling CONTRACTED, this is your intuition telling you to STAY AWAY!
 
If you're feeling EXPANSIVE, despite fear, it’s a GREEN LIGHT!

STRATEGY 2:

Gather a couple close friends that you trust and talk through your opportunities or passions that you're considering. This circle of people will be able to watch and tell you exactly how you REACT. 
 
When people talk about things they love or would like to attempt in the near future, their bodies tell the whole story! 

• If you're discussing something that you shouldn't do, your body language will look lackadaisical; your being will close off, you'll be hesitant and likely give off a depressed, draining vibe. 
• If it's something that that energizes you, your face will light up like a f**king Christmas tree.​  ​ ​

That's your answer.

Don't doubt. Don't question. Don't wait. Don't get overwhelmed. Trust and GO! 

I figured this out the hard way. here's my story:

For 10 years, I climbed the corporate ladder as a publicist to high-profile celebrities and athletes. Despite the glamour, I was fighting myself to get up in the morning, felt fatigued by noon and went through my days lifeless. My relationships, health and happiness deteriorated (hello alcohol, weight gain and depression medication). I knew there had to be more to life.

I eventually quit the 9-5 and am now living according to my inner compass. I'm launching a start-up that has potential to set me up for life. I'm empowering and being of service to people through my writing, speaking and community work. I'm making a difference by shining a light for others when they feel stuck in the darkness as I did for so long. 

I'm not financially stable yet nor do I have a stress-free life. But I know without a doubt in my heart that I'm on the right path because THIS, my friends, fills my tank and makes me so excited to hop out of bed and keep going.

It was an "itch" I had daily for 10 years. As much courage as it took to scratch it, I can't imagine life any other way.

If you have that same "whisper," listen. Stop wasting precious time. This is THE GIFT that has been given to you by God. If you don't fallow it, you're not only robbing yourself but others of that gift.

the more important a project is to your soul's evolution, the more you'll resist it. 

—Steven Pressfield ​